Hugging, is it the sweet embrace we run away from or melt into it. Half way in, half way out. Today I was reminding how much I love hugging! Especially when two people have the ability to just be in the hug, breath together, be still together, laugh and drop into an open heart. However hugging seems so simple yet in society and possibly for many hugging is downright scary.
Let me share a story with you. I was out walking with a new friend. We have known each other through the community yet today was the first time we shared some quality time together in conversation. We walked and talked for an hour and I realized how much I really just wanted to be touched. We walked brushing arms from time to time, arms wrapped around each other with great ease, and when it came time for a hug to close our date together how liberating it felt to just say, OMG that felt so good! I realized being on the road, away from loved ones that my body and heart really missed the nurturing of loving touch. We both laughed and I asked for another and another and another lol. I think we shared 5 long hugs, breathing together, laughing and allowing the softness of the heart to be blossomed in me.
Now I am a very open, hugging kind of person by nature. Yet I thought about how so many want this closeness. They want it yet do not feel comfortable to ask, do not have the space, the people or the emotional clarity to feel safe . Nor the boundary skills to ask for what they need or want.
Why? When you hug in such a way that says “intimacy” you can no longer hide behind the personas, the masks, the armor that have been built through a lifetime of stories and conditioning.
Imagine for a moment a world where everyone felt so secure, safe, connected to their own body, values, secure in one’s sexuality , that hugging no longer felt like a threat. You let go of the beliefs that hugging means you are going to have sex with the other person and intimacy is welcomed in.
Think of how often you have hugged yet held your breath the entire time. Possibly scared to feel anything of touching another body or allowing the softer side of your nature to be felt by someone new or with a community member. What about the old stick the butt out hug as if you are at arms length and have kooties. Oh and don’t forget that good old side hug, back pat kind of hug ;).
Hugging is transforming on so many levels! Why would you keep yourself closed off and at bay from one of the most beautiful experiences and even life altering. Yes it may feel scary and even awkward at first however so worth it.
It is shown that hugging is extremely effective way to shift loneliness, sickness, depression, anxiety and stress. A deep, connective, long hug where hearts are pressing together has so many beneficial qualities. It has a way of creating a sense of support and nurturing. Hugs are able to increase levels of oxytocin ( the love chemical ) in our body which may shift feelings of anger and isolation.Those really long embraces, the ones where you really allow yourself to melt and breathe for a minute elevates moods of happiness and serotonin levels in the body.
Yet, on a deep emotional level again hugs ask us to let our guard down , be present, open, vulnerable and in the heart. They take us out of our chronic thinking patterns. You know the ones that keep us in control and far our of a surrendered heart.
I speak often of moving into more understanding , compassion, and ways to create win/win healthy relationships in the world. My perspective is that intimacy is on the top of the list of building this in the world.
The time invested in sharing a quality hug with another human being inspires empathy and understanding.
Imagine a world where it was normal and everyone felt safe to hug people good morning and good night at the office. People had the skills to know their own needs, and knew how to clearly communicate it when it came to hugging. That it was the common greeting when meeting a new friend or being introduced to someone new in the community. Not the stick you butt out, hold your breath kind of hug, yet the real take 2 breathes belly to belly, heart to heart kind of hug. Where you actually are breathing and feeling your own body.
This is the world I live in and I invite more and more people to wake up, give yourself the biggest hug ever and go out and share at least 1 quality hug with someone new today.
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