Transition, Falling apart and Re-Birth
Reflections of 2014
Travel has taken me near and far. New experiences in 3 other countries. Moments of what seemed to be an emotional crisis. A rites of passage like no other through pregnancy and the mourning of a termination. A new declaration to my commitment to my service in the world through my work. A guest appearance on prime time Television show for my work as a Love and Relationship Expert. An up leveling to my business model. A shift into deepening relationship with my beloved partner. Many experiences of letting go of what I think should be and returning to the center of my values along with the ease and grace of “Right Relationships”. New community building, relationships evolving, new friendships and sister connections. Bottom line this year has been about returning again to simplicity of life and love.
Oh My where do I begin…
Highlights of 2014 Travel
It does seem somewhere in my blood that my ancestral roots of Spain, inspire a gypsy in me. Loving and somewhat needing the freedom which I feel when traveling into foreign lands and new communities. This is what fuels my life purpose, my heart afire. 2014 offered me two opportunities to return to my second home in Vancouver BC. The connection with soul family in BC continues to expand on my 5th year of returning. January was a short 10 day trip and later in September a wonderful full nearly one month. The quality of love and friendships evolving in BC is exquisite.
This year I returned to what I feel I have been “born and bread” to do. The Joy of Teaching Teachers in our Integrative Breath Work and Mindful Relating Teacher Training held in the rainforest of the sunshine coast in BC. I was invited to sit by the side of my dear soul brother Robin who was the inspirer and extraordinary teacher and healing. Weaving our visions of Breath work and sacred space was out of this world, literally. This only awakened that yearning inside of me to return, to put out there these gifts of breath, presence, art of creating sacred space and compassionate relating more into the world for sustainable changes.
In February my 6th year tradition of returning to the sacred temezcal in San Jose Del Cabo for my 43rd turn around the sun was sweeter than ever. My beloved partner gave me the gift of his presence to join me on the warm sands of Mexico.
In October our travels expanded over 25 hours of travel to meet him in Africa , Zimbabwe and Zambia. Back to the land in which he was born. Africa held us in so many new experiences which have shifted my life. The quality time and getting to know my loves home joined our hearts in new levels.
I had the opportunity to sit with the land, to walk with cheetahs, cuddle up to lions and be in the awe of the interconnectedness I felt amongst the wild. The simplicity of life and the kindness of the people was like nothing I have ever witnessed. It was a heart opening journey indeed. So much we are now co-creating a 5 day Holistic Mindfulness Seminar in the Wild of Africa for 2015.
Reviewing the continuous highlights and opportunities.
Next stop is Prime Time Television
There is so much gratitude for truly how much I do have. In August of 2014 I received an email from a producer who was looking for a love and relationship expert. Now I at first thought it was a hoax. It never crossed my mind that this person would find me from something as simple as google. :) A week later I was in a producers office in Los Angeles. A month later I was flown to location for a shoot to give Tantric Love and Intimacy session to a couple on prime time television. This was a dream come true. It was as if all my life long dedication to walking this path has gifted me this opportunity.
YES! Everything about it on many levels was so amazing and transformative. The location, the session room created, the healing sanctuary, the couple, the crew. My creative juices were so inspired it was exhilarating.
Stay tuned! The show will air February 2nd. The biggest win out of this was the people and the experience of enabling people to up level their relationship and intimacy skills. The TV opportunity was an added perk. This experience awakened a new level of clarity in the direction of my work, business and certainty in my heart.
Extraordinary Collaborations and Co-Inpirations of 2014
I LOVE collaborating. This year there was a realization how when two creative, passionate entrepreneurs get together to uplift each other up, the magic and success is INFINITE!
Feeling so much gratitude for this years tag team action! All with the intention to share a up leveling of mindfulness, presence and heart centered relating.
Thank you all for your unique magic and for sharing with me!
- Co-teaching Integrative Breath Work Teacher Training in Rainforest of BC with Robin Clements of Breathwave.org
- Website Design Up Leveling with Lucinda Rae
- Evolving Business with Samantha and the team at Enlightened Marketing
- Guest Teaching At Vinyasa Arts Yoga Teacher Training in Cardiff, CA
- A new Integrative Breath Work CD with Avena at http://www.biz4hipsters.com
- Archetype Photo Discovery Shoot with Hayley Melrose
- Three interviews on CKNW Sunday Night Sex Talk with Dr. Maureen McGrath in Vancouver BC
Home Sweet Home…
Home is where the heart is and my heart expands more and more in love with my beloved partner every day. Things got fire hot and in the fast lane this year in the area of relationship. This year I moved into the granny flat at my partner’s family home. The best part of that is that he lives in the main house. There was concern at first about would we distract each other, have our boundaries honored and how it would affect our relationship. This was a huge shift for me and in all sincerity being closer together brought up feelings of insecurity for me. I do believe that when a relationship holds so much love, support, presence and a clear masculine presence, it opens up a place for old emotional components to surface and transformed. How interesting to feel so safe and have such a profound connection and to feel more insecure than I can recall ever feeling.
Through a commitment to daily self inquiry, compassionate communication, my own spiritual practices and a fucking extraordinary partner this has only brought us closer together. Everyday a new piece of ourselves emerges to be shared. We went from having one date night sleep over a week when I moved in, to two nights a week in a few short months. WOW, it has been nearly 10 months and it is more like we live together, and take 1 night a week to have solo dates with myself. I am humbled by the learning curve to walk on my path of purpose in my work and on this path of mindful divine partnership with another. My work and my relationships are a high form of spiritual practice for me and there is so much joy for the reflections they both offer me.
The emotions that this love has awakened can feel intense at times. Old parts of me surfacing to shift and transform. It has been a growth edge to navigate a devotional life purpose and a full time relationship. Some relationship highlights truly have been returning to a simplicity of being together. Grocery shopping together, cooking food for each other, waking up and showering together. To uplifting and inspiring each other in our work in the world.
A new Rites of Passage that will change my life forever
This year has held various components and qualities of a rites of passage in my life. A part of my life that I shared with the love and grace of friends and my partner by my side. However, a most vulnerable and very edgy place that I have experienced. In the beginning of the year my body became taxed and overloaded. Stemmed from a past of adrenal fatigue and a year where menopause is closing in. There were days it was so extreme I though I was dying. It felt like life was washing away. The intensity of my emotions, the lack of feeling I experienced was a very scary place to be for someone like me who typically “feels” so much and is so in tune with life. My being was calling me to rest, to listen to be still and trust. A deeper sense was that there was a place of deep internal shifts that were taking place in my body, mind and spirit that were unexplainable yet that would shift my life forever.
To add to the intensity of the fire , this year I experienced pregnancy. It was an event that has catapulted my life into such immense change body and spirit. Even though the choice was to terminate for personal health reasons there was not one moment this was taken lightly. In fact the complete opposite was true. I felt the healing, the wisdom, the gift , an embodiment like no other ever had I felt. The commitment for each day while I was aware of the pregnancy was to be present, communicate, and hold ceremony with this being during the transition. The waves, actually tsunami of emotions that lived through me were immense.
What was to come after was the feelings of grief, loss, sadness, clarity, gratitude, peace, and a knowing my body would never be the same. The over whelm of an angry and confused womb. My body was thrown into a state of confusion. A new relationship with my vagina and sex which I am still uncovering. A rites of passage that I have experienced as a shamanic journey and am aware of the wisdom , the information that came through this pregnancy is still settling, finding its place within my being.
The moments after of tears, anger and frustration that my body will truly never be the same, it will never feel the same. Deep down I went inside mysids into self inquiry and listening. The knowing appeared of this experience as wisdom to live , and medicine to share in the world.
This awakened a clear path within me to build programs for woman who transition pregnancy or miscarraige. To let women know that are not alone. To allow them a place to feel safe to be in their bodies, to be present, conscious and enabled to move through the emotions . My desire is to hold women into being embodied and honest during these experiences rather than in a place where they feel they need to hide, and check out of their bodies. I was challenged because I wanted to talk about it, I wanted to be understood, I wanted to be acknowledged and what I was in question about was if the world was ready. Was a community going to judge me, shun me, go into their own fear.
Through this profound life experience I awakened a new sense of compassion and understanding for myself, for trusting myself and surrendering into the wisdom of this rites of passage.
Up leveling Business and Life Purpose
This year I have let go of some relationships and have returned to “Right Relationship” . I acknowledge the places where I had been distracted and out of alignment with my heart and values. There were moments at the beginning of 2014 that life was so full that it started to fill cluttered. My direction was not as clear as it had usually been. I decided to sit back and look at what was really fueling my passion, what was juicy up my heart and my purpose. After much reflection even though all the experiences were wonderful, I knew it was time to let some things go. I needed to create space again for the people , activities that ignited a sense of pleasure, passion and purpose.
The process of surrendering opened new doors is BIG ways. I LOVE being around people who are passionate , successful and sharing their purpose in the world and uplifting each other in the process. This Year I return to getting my “Business Sexy” on. I joined communities like Exceptional Entrepreneurs, Women’s Wisdom and Women’s Mastermind groups. I created space for the TV appearance as well and other collaborations. Through these communities it has birthed a new chapter in relationship building, inspired friendships and new sisters.
In June 2014 I temporarily put down the seminar leader role for a 6 month journey into up leveling my brand and business. This was on the top of challenges for me. For 16 years I have traveled the world teaching teacher trainings, leader ceremonies and workshops. If you haven’t figured it out, I LOVE my work! However there were some components that required a more solid foundation to go in the direction I envisioned and felt in my heart. First step was hiring my new business mentor and team at Enlightened Marketing. For me this mirrored the personal transitions, the rebirth that was taking place in my life. It was a commitment to let go of the old model, pull every thing apart and go back to group zero. Building a strong, health foundation to begin again in a fresh, vibrant, magnetic and clear way for 2015. Trust me it was the best investment I have ever made and it certainly had may edgy moments. I feel more grounded in who I am as a person, and as a entrepreneur.
Whats next
2015 is here! With all the upheaval and seed planting of 2014, my vision for 2015 is about growing strong trees deeply rooted into the earth. 2015 is about outward expression, travel, teaching, creating, writing, settling deeper into relationship.
Life Purpose Intentions
- Hiring a PR team for leverage publicity
- Launch new website, Mentorship programs and Online Courses
- Schedule and co-lead 2015 Teacher Training
- Write Levels 2 and 3 Teacher Training
- Hold Seminars in Canada, Africa and San Diego
- Begin to write my book
- Nourishing more Collaboration and business relationships in my life. It is the year of coming together…
- Launch new Women’s Program
Personal Relationship
- Show up each day with presence, understanding and passion with my beloved
- Camp and unplug together with my partner
- Co-create event for Africa with Beloved
- Take a couple days of silence per month
- Vipassana or other creative writing sabbatical
New Friendships
- Surround myself with women and men who walk their talk, are devoted to their unique life purpose in uplifting the world.
- Envisioning a year of collaboration and nourishment of new relationships , teaching and inspiring.
I envision travel to be in Canada for a minimum of 4 weeks and a maximum of 8 weeks. Africa for an extended stay through our 5 day Mindfulness Up Leveling Seminar. One step closer to the Home healing sanctuary retreat space where I will live and share, and receive clients , individuals and couples from around the world for one and two day VIP Immersions.
My compassion, understanding and trust towards myself have grown immensely this year. It has been a year of opening up into greater transparency and vulnerability in my relationships. My purposeful work feels to have brought together the shamaness and the sexy , savvy business women. I feel rooted down in order to rise up and share more of my heart and wisdom in the world.
This year offered shifts in my path. It redirected me to back onto my soulful passionate purpose and back to that which fuels my heart. A reminder that life continues to give us signs, we have feelings and intuition and this gets louder when our being would be better served elsewhere. The moments of digging up the weeds prepares us to plant truly sustainable new roots.
This year I am feeling so blessed. I feel another layer peeled away. A year of being called to stand in the center of the fire and to burn to ashes for a new awakening. I feel as if an energy and archetype of the Elder has entered into my life and my being. In a way it islike I have grown another 100 years. My essence holds a quality that feels fierce, yet compassionate. Wise, yet humble. I feel a wisdom, gifts that came through me to evolve the level of facilitation I hold in the world and how I show up for others.
When I reflect back on 2014 I am in awe of the wisdom that was gifted to my life path. Information that feels to be pulsing through my whole being. All to enable me to show up in bigger, bolder ways to be one of many who inspired change in the world. To enable me to understand more of you, to walk in compassion, love and fierce in honoring the path of “Right Relationship” with this body, mind and spirit.
A year transitions means there is more fuel to fan the fire’s within our heart and souls. To walk empowered, in choice and in new awarenesses.
It takes a tribe and we all have our perspectives on what that looks like. I am grateful for the global commUNITY of many tribes that live in my heart, that mirror me perfectly in each moment. For the tough love, for the soft love , for the love you all have shared and offer to me. There are so many that without your presence this year would not have been the same. Thank you to ALL of you who help me be a better version of me everyday!
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