A practical human need is to give and receive touch, affection. It is showing up more and more how our Physiological and physical health benefit from these experiences. Yet what do you do when in a relationship where a partner is experiencing a low in life, on their personal path and needssomething different then you need? You may feel a longing for touch, passion and the joy of ravishing each other to be shared.
However both paths yours and your partners are valid and important. What even makes it worse is society and people often go straight to the worrying thoughts, whats wrong with the relationship, did I do something, am I not attractive enough this increases weight on one’s nervous system, emotional body and can affect the health of the relationship and more so the health of the individual feeling this burden.
I share this from the personal depths which I am so familiar with. The journey of relationship and the daily opportunities which may feel challenging in the moment. Moments my partner and I may have been on different pages and how returning to our center is how we continually dive deeper.
Relationships are a funny thing. Our human nature typically based on conditioning want to place relationships in a stagnant box, wrapped in a bow and put up on a shelf to never change. We found our prince or princess with our white picket fence and it has to look a certain way without a scratch to be perfect. Yet this belief will sooner than later suffocate a relationship and the people in it.
The fact is change is the only thing that is constant. Look at nature, the seasons, night and day everything is always in constant movement. Well, we are part of nature yet somewhere along the way we were taught differently. When in actuality the divine beauty of relating and often the most challenging thing for the human mind (the unknown) is the evolution of it. There is so much juice within the change when we can shift our perspective on it .
Now that can be easier said than done, as most people are living through eyes of that conditioned past. Society, our family, friends, our childhood abandonment issues, fear of not being good enough, all the stories that have been so well absorbed within our cellular memory and emotional body.
The first steps I would suggest is to see these emotions as just that, our past stories. Awareness comes first. From there seek out the help from a professional to do “the work” of clearing these old stories. Why? Our relationships are as juiced and thriving as we are as sovereign beings! It begins with ourselves. Watch as you do your solo work, the pieces in relationship and our perspective begins to shift and change.
Now back to the part on yearning for that touch, affection, passion when your partner is in a different emotional state. Well, as I mentioned when we start to do our own emotional work, we can now enter into this phase of relating differently. We now will have greater capacity and presence to be honestly with our own feelings, have the skills to communicate these desires, longings and feelings with our partner without projecting onto them any story. In the same time you are now in a place even in the midst of crying, to hear them , understand and offer empathy for what they are moving through. YES, please feel your feelings they are meant to be felt. That is a huge piece of being alive.
Now from this clearer more present state you can get to your center, your place of being empowered you can explore things in your life that you find passion in. It may not be the same as sharing touch and passion with your partner, yet it will be your personal fuel. Remember your partners job is not to be your fuel. That is your job! They only add to your full tank. ;) Begin to do more of what you love, share your heart in other ways, get out to the forest, get weekly massages, have movie cuddle dates with close friends.
Remember life is in constant flux, relationships are in constant flux. Summer changes to winter and as humans we also have all the seasons of change in our being. When you or your partner is having a winter moment and you are having a summer moment it does not mean anything is wrong with the relationship. It is actually the opposite. This container we call relationship has so much love, depth and bonding share that you both have the ability to go there. To get raw, vulnerable, uncomfortable and deeply intimate. Now that is sacred empowered relating.
This too will change. The key is to stay emotionally connected, keep lines of transparent communication open, share from a place of self responsibility and do the solo work and get more involved with ways that continually juice you up.
When I am longing for the ravishing juicy sexy play time and my partner is have the completely opposite and feeling stressed that is a great time for us to give each other massages, snuggle up and watch a movie or even meditate together. These are ways that allow us to continuously share our hearts, connection and be nurtured. In moments where space is needed, I remember the way I love to dance, go get all sweaty in a yoga class, job through the nature preserve, work on my business projects or go have a cuddle night with a friend.
Get creative and stay juicy!
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